4/20/2000. Nightmare

    Not a pleasant occurence, most of my life I had them. Probably started around when I was  8. I would see these 3, I would call them balls not a solid though. They would appear on the horizon and slowly come near my face, and it would feel like I was suffocating. I would wake up in a sweat. I would get that dream once in awhile for years to come.

    I always liked to go to flea markets. Saturday I was walking around and got into a conversation with an older guy, marveling about all the different stuff to be had here. I said you got everything except coffins, he said well one day a long while ago, a guy was here selling coffins. He came here 2 weeks, until the owners of flea market asked him to leave with his coffins. One day at this market there was a vendor who had a book laying on the dirt, it was the Bhagavad gita. The cover is what got me. There was a young male laying asleep under a tree and what appeared to be an apparition of himself leaving his body. It gave me the creeps. I didn't buy the book. Much later I would think about that day. Keep an open mind, I would tell myself. I would eventually pick up books on spirituality and read them. This went on for many years. My nightmares shifted from balls to tornadoes, I'd wakeup in a pool of sweat, then I would change the sheets. This was happening about once a month for a couple years. Then it was twice a month, then once a week. I remember while I was running from said tornado, a book I read take a picture of what afflicts you in the dream. In the dream I reach back to my back pocket and pull out a camera. In the dream, I'm looking at this camera and thinking how did get there. Then I remembered the tornado, it was almost on me, quick put camera to my eye and see the black tornado and then I snap the shutter. Instantaneously I shoot up to a nearby cloud, I walk over to edge of cloud and peek down, there is my body, running for it's life from said twister. I went left, the twister went left, I went right the twister went right. The higher me safe on the cloud, no sweat. From that day forward, I never had a nightmare again. A friend of mine also had nightmares, her afflictors were big ferocious cats, like lions+ tigers, she stopped running and turned using God's name, the cats became Kittens, and she picked one up. Her nightmares. also ended.

    These are some ways that spirit can help you with having a more fullfilling life. I'm very thankfull not to have to change the bedding anymore. Spirit showed me, how to get above a problem.

4/19/2020. Dead. End Thinking

   

    Walking the same road over and over again. We have to ask ourselves, what do we want to accomplish here. Say every Sunday we take some time to evaluate our life. Keep a notebook handy, one that is sturdy with a strong binder and when open lays flat. Date each entry day, month and year. Write down what you are doing and the amount of satisfaction you get from it. This way you will monitor your progress or lack thereof. If your not satisfied then think of ways to make that pivot. Then the hard part comes, putting it into action. Action is the key word here.

    

    My friend Dan was married about 4 or 5 times. We were working at Dan's house one day when he gets a call from his ex girl friend , can you come over and give me your opinion on my front steps. He said ok, and I went along for the 40 mile ride. We gave her a price, she wasn't keen on it. Dan was mad because he would do lots of odd jobs for her in the past for free. Dan was trying to get me a job.  I said on way back, why you always doing things for your exes? He said your right, I'm done. I said yeah... A couple years later were working on an art project when he gets a phone call from his girlfriend, an electric switch just shorted out. Could he come fix it. We head on out, when we get there she was entertaining a man. Dan goes off, a bunch of yelling. Dan is still upset but he fixes the switch nonetheless. When we headed back in car, I turn to him remember a couple years ago, you said you were done fixing things for girlfriends? He just glared at me. He still hadn't moved on. Circumstances will repeat until we do what we say were going to do.

    Dan was married either 4 or 5 times, He was getting ready for number 6, running around getting things organized for a couple of months. He was out doing another task for the wedding when he gets words in his head, what are you doing, you don't have to get married. He stopped and thought. Oh, that's right maybe I don't. He cooled it on down and overtime they went their separate ways. Dead end ways were finally over.

    You set a goal and spirit will help you attain that goal. Bringing the circumstance around and around til we do what we said we were going to do. Know who you are and what you want. Be firm about it. Spend time at least once a month going over your goals and asking Spirit for it's help.

4/17/2020. Shamus

     That was a guy I visited every morning, to get my bacon and egg sandwich. It was on a crisp kaiser bun, 5 inches thick. I can taste it like it was yesterday. Always looked forward to crossing his threshold. He was in WW2, worked for the OSS, which was a precursor to the CIA. He was a big guy and gregarious. He would break out in song on occasion. He was fun to josh around with. One day I said God what's wrong with me? Next morning, I walk into his store and before I can get my greeting out, he says you know what's wrong with you. Your'e arrogant, vain, selfish and cold. There was a bunch more, but I didn't have my note pad with me. Darn. So God gave me his answer via Shamus.


     A year later I walked in. And he says hey Dan you're never going to believe this but a guy just left 5 min ago, he looked just like you but he was 10 yrs. older than you.  I can't believe it. A friend of ours had a store across the street. I was good friends with him. He was also a W W2 guy . One day he was in a big park with his family having a good time. He thinks he sees me walking by. I'm a good distance away, he runs after me calling my name. The guy doesn't respond. When he catches up to me, the guy turns and he sees its not me, but a real close resemblance.

    I will have a double story in coming posts. Once I went back to a town I used to live in. It's been15yrs. I'm getting gas and I'm leaning against my vehicle looking across the pump island. Theres a small black sports car getting gas, the guy is in black clothes. He looks a little younger than me, It was the cleaned up version of me. Now that was pretty cool.

4/I5/2020. Death Imminent

    I picked up a paper and an article caught my attention. British couple found dead next to rental car.  Back then rental cars were marked. After this event, they removed icons referencing a rental car. The thugs targeted them, the rental car had them pegged as tourists. The thugs were under 1 8 yrs old. Maybe 4 or5 of them. Dam creeps.

    An event was being held, in the same state that the British couple lost their lives. Now it's a couple yrs later. I got to my beautiful hotel an unpacked. It felt real good soaking in the sunshine and viewing the soft colors of my surroundings, inside and out. I was in a good mood. I had alot of hours to kill, so I decided to take a bus trip, to the outskirt of the city. The park was fantastic, lots of people and animals. I got on the nearest trail, when I came around the bend, there was such a sight. I will never forget. It was like I "walked to the garden of Eden. The sunlight was filtering through the trees, cascading upon the blue pond. Birds of varying shapes and colors were alighting on the water. Kids and parents in their Colorfull clothes all around the area. The way the light hit the green green grass was just magnificent. I felt unbridaled joy enter my heart. This is what life could be. Not a care in the world. I stayed as long as I could. I

    In an hour, dusk would come. I got on the bus, back to my hotel. What a great adventure, I just had. Its dark now and the bus comes to a stop, I hear bus driver say everyone off, I say you got to be kidding me. He said no its the end terminal. So I'm in the bad part of town, a couple miles from the hotel. It's a suburban area. A guy on the bus was now on foot a good distance ahead of me. I stopped arguing with the driver and bounded after the guy. It's getting darker. Within 5 minutes I feel them behind me. I don't look because I know theyre there. I'm thinking about the British couple and to make it to that street lamp up ahead. Have to make it to that light and put my back up against the 8 ft chain link fence. Turn around and the 2 creeps are staring me down. Two black kids. The kid on my left has his right hand in his pocket holding a gun, but I could tell he was faking, the other guy held a bowling ball size piece of concrete. The guy with the crete was the alpha dog. Where you from alpha says, I name the state. All the way from there he says. Yes. Let's have it, I reach for my wallet and purposely give it to the quiet one on the left. That pissed off the crete guy. He angrilly takes it from quiet guy, telling me to deal with him. My main adversary was crete guy. I knew quiet guy would run. Now for that piece of concrete he was holding, I knew for it to do damage he would have to hoist it over his head, once he did that, l would punch him in the stomache. The crete would descend upon his head. There was 4 twenties folded in my left rear pocket, the wallet was in my right rear pocket. When he opened my wallet he saw a whole  8 bucks. He can't believe it, you come down all that way with 8 bucks? Yep. Give me the bag, I hand it to quiet man.  Pissed off alpha again, he pulls out a magazine water bottle and birdseed container. What the? He calls me by my state name, He says Dakota ( not my real state) next time you come visit bring more money with you. With disgust he says you need it more than me puts money back in and hands it to quiet guy who gives it to me. It was over.

    When I had my back to the fence, I thought of my family and said to myself, you did have a good life. No matter what happens I'm good.

    Back at the hotel I bump into my friend and tell him, I think I got mugged. He says what do you mean, you either were or not. I said, well he gave me the money back. Hour later it seemed like everyone knew about what happened to me. Now that's a grapevine

4/14/2020. Dreams can Help

    Dreams can come in all shapes and sizes. Having many meanings as well. Some dreams deal with the future.
     A friend of mine, Jim was renting a room from me. I got along fine with him. He had some gal that he was dating long distance. He would fly out every 4 months, to see her, then fly back. He would send her money through the mail. I told him use a money order, no not him, strictly cash. I said that's stupid. Three months later he said his gal didn't get the money. Told you so. Jim was all in on a life with this gal. 100% for the relationship. Jim was a hard worker, blue collar job, for many years. Jim was starting a new life with her. He took his money and put a downpayment on a piece of mountain property, gorgeous. Things were looking up, exciting. Jim helped her with many issues in her life. I think I talked to her once, sounded real nice. Jim said she was a real looker and felt sorry for her hard life. They were both in love. Good. One day, Jim come to me and says I'll be moving on. Ok and good luck.

    I was to take him to the airport in the morning. That night I had a dream. My dreams about the future are maybe yes, maybe no and no way period. We get in the car and I tell him I had a dream about him. He said he didn't want to know, I said ok. I'll keep it to myself. 10 min later he says tell him, I say you're not going to like it. He had to think about it some more. He says tell me. I told him how my dreams pan out. The dream I had with him said you will not succeed with this gal. He was big Mad. I said own it.

    A month or so later, I hear from him . The relationship tanked. Big brohaha. She accused him of wrecking her life and what not. OMG, He said it came out of the blue. Thats lighting for you.

    A couple weeks after Jim left got the phone bill, it was hefty. He would talk to her frequently during the week at night for 3 hrs straight, long distance. When I was cleaning his room, I found an envelope with stamp affixed. Opened it up..... yep100 dollars green bill. He thought post office didn't mail it. Nope he lost it under bed. The 100 went to phone bill. He left 2 items behind, one I kept and the other I sold. Yes it covered the 750 dollar phone bill. I guesed, he really loved that gal.

4/13/2020. Mike

 

     Mike was my buddy, I used to work for him on occasion. He was an elderly Jewish man. One day he was out watering the newly planted grass on a Saturday. A fellow Jew was walking to temple, he stopped and asked Mike, why you watering the grass on the Sabbath? Mike said, oh I just planted this grass a week ago. Now God likes things to live and if I don't water it, it will surely die. The Jew walked away shaking his head. Mike would always be out there watering, cutting the grass and trimming the bushes the best he could. And he world do it wearing a full suit and dress shoes. I never asked him why. Mike and me would play chess once in awhiIe. He bared his arm and showed me his name, I think there were four or five numbers in a horizontal row, in blue ink. He said he got that when he stepped through the gate of Belsen Garten, I think that was the camp. They the guards kept him off to the side, because he was a strong one. The weak would perish. He would haul the dead to be buried. Always looking for scraps of food. Mike just one more day. I never asked him about being liberated, I should have though.

    Mike came to the US soon after the war, with 3 bucks to his name. Landed in NYC, he was walking on a street looking for any type of work. He is by himself now, everyone is dead. Up ahead he sees a store front... help wanted. He goes in and walks out loaded with fuller brush paraphenalia. He is now a door to door salesman. At the end of the day, He only made 3 bucks. He sat on a stoop dejected. A black woman eventually walked by, she said why so sad? He said I only made 3 dollars today. She looked at his stuff and said come to my church after Sunday service. He did and sold alot of product. Fuller brush was very happy and so was Mike. Soon Mike took a job in the garment sector. He was an eager learner. knowledge is king.

    He took another job away from the city. Still in the garment industry, he saved his money and soon got married. He went to a mason and told him what he wanted in a house. It got done. Soon, it was time to venture out for himself. He made plans to open his own buisness. He found a store off the main street of stores near the cemetary. He told his wife, she said who you going to sell to, the dead people. Mike walked to the beat of his own drummer. He signed the papers, from 3 dollars to sole business man. Getting people to the garment store was a problem. A radio show came to his help. Mike was smart, he made sure that his I min ad came on 5 min before 6 am. The school closings would begin 6 am. For  30 yrs, it was the same ad. Kids would come into his shop and say the catch phrase, it saves to walk the extra block. Mike was successful. When other people were contrary Mike said it will be done. And he did.

    I life well lived. One day I drove by and I noticed his car was gone for a long time. I stopped by, I said Mike wheres the car? Oh, he said one day I was driving in town and hit a car. I say so what thats what insurance is for. No he said the car was a cop car. Mike was 88 and his family used that incident to pull his license. Sorry Mike. A year later, I didn't. see Mike out in his yard. I stop, Mike what happened? He tripped in the street visiting a neighbor, broke his hip. About 6 months later his wife couldn't take care of him anymore. I visited him in the nursing home, he was not happy. He wanted me to take him home. I said I couldn't. He balled up a fist and caught me in the arm. Boy, for 89 he hit good. Poor Mike, he died 6 mos later.

    I had a dream one night there was Mike in the dark save for an old fashioned lamp post that was lit up, he was holding on to the post. I know the light will guide him onward. Good to know you Mike.

4/12/2020. Death. Camp

    The first week of life, I was baptised a christian. When I got older I went to Sunday school for awhile. It was ok but I didn't go to church. My parents believed in the golden rule, do on to others as you would want them to do to you. That in a nut shell was their belief. Sounded good to me. At the dentist office, they had a childrens bible that I would read before seeing the doc. Later I became agnostic. At 13 we had to watch a movie called Night and Fog. The French went into the death camps in 1945, they had movie projectors. It was in French. They showed everything. I walked out after hour and a half being an athieist. Everyone at 13 should see this movie... mandatory. There wouldn't be any white surpremists walking around today.
    I dated this gal, who got to know my views. One day I say let's go out Sat afternoon. She said she couldn't, she had to find a shirt for her father's birthday. I said I'll go with you, she said no, it's a special shirt. It's a nazi era shirt. I said excuse me, what did you say? I got it right the first time. So thats why she would always direct me to different doors when I came over, front door side door, she was keeping me from bumping into him. Smart girl. That relationship soon ended../

     This story I heard, I hope it to be true. A US soldier was in a death camp 1945. He sees a prisoner that doesn't look like the rest of them. He walks on up to him and says, you look way better than your comrades, why is that? He said when I came here I was like the rest of them, miserable, sad and I wanted to kill the guards. I felt like this for a long time I caught a glimpse of myself one day in a mirror, I did not like what I saw. I was becoming just like the guards. I said to myself No it stops here. I will focus on the good inside me.