4/14/2020. Dreams can Help

    Dreams can come in all shapes and sizes. Having many meanings as well. Some dreams deal with the future.
     A friend of mine, Jim was renting a room from me. I got along fine with him. He had some gal that he was dating long distance. He would fly out every 4 months, to see her, then fly back. He would send her money through the mail. I told him use a money order, no not him, strictly cash. I said that's stupid. Three months later he said his gal didn't get the money. Told you so. Jim was all in on a life with this gal. 100% for the relationship. Jim was a hard worker, blue collar job, for many years. Jim was starting a new life with her. He took his money and put a downpayment on a piece of mountain property, gorgeous. Things were looking up, exciting. Jim helped her with many issues in her life. I think I talked to her once, sounded real nice. Jim said she was a real looker and felt sorry for her hard life. They were both in love. Good. One day, Jim come to me and says I'll be moving on. Ok and good luck.

    I was to take him to the airport in the morning. That night I had a dream. My dreams about the future are maybe yes, maybe no and no way period. We get in the car and I tell him I had a dream about him. He said he didn't want to know, I said ok. I'll keep it to myself. 10 min later he says tell him, I say you're not going to like it. He had to think about it some more. He says tell me. I told him how my dreams pan out. The dream I had with him said you will not succeed with this gal. He was big Mad. I said own it.

    A month or so later, I hear from him . The relationship tanked. Big brohaha. She accused him of wrecking her life and what not. OMG, He said it came out of the blue. Thats lighting for you.

    A couple weeks after Jim left got the phone bill, it was hefty. He would talk to her frequently during the week at night for 3 hrs straight, long distance. When I was cleaning his room, I found an envelope with stamp affixed. Opened it up..... yep100 dollars green bill. He thought post office didn't mail it. Nope he lost it under bed. The 100 went to phone bill. He left 2 items behind, one I kept and the other I sold. Yes it covered the 750 dollar phone bill. I guesed, he really loved that gal.

4/13/2020. Mike

 

     Mike was my buddy, I used to work for him on occasion. He was an elderly Jewish man. One day he was out watering the newly planted grass on a Saturday. A fellow Jew was walking to temple, he stopped and asked Mike, why you watering the grass on the Sabbath? Mike said, oh I just planted this grass a week ago. Now God likes things to live and if I don't water it, it will surely die. The Jew walked away shaking his head. Mike would always be out there watering, cutting the grass and trimming the bushes the best he could. And he world do it wearing a full suit and dress shoes. I never asked him why. Mike and me would play chess once in awhiIe. He bared his arm and showed me his name, I think there were four or five numbers in a horizontal row, in blue ink. He said he got that when he stepped through the gate of Belsen Garten, I think that was the camp. They the guards kept him off to the side, because he was a strong one. The weak would perish. He would haul the dead to be buried. Always looking for scraps of food. Mike just one more day. I never asked him about being liberated, I should have though.

    Mike came to the US soon after the war, with 3 bucks to his name. Landed in NYC, he was walking on a street looking for any type of work. He is by himself now, everyone is dead. Up ahead he sees a store front... help wanted. He goes in and walks out loaded with fuller brush paraphenalia. He is now a door to door salesman. At the end of the day, He only made 3 bucks. He sat on a stoop dejected. A black woman eventually walked by, she said why so sad? He said I only made 3 dollars today. She looked at his stuff and said come to my church after Sunday service. He did and sold alot of product. Fuller brush was very happy and so was Mike. Soon Mike took a job in the garment sector. He was an eager learner. knowledge is king.

    He took another job away from the city. Still in the garment industry, he saved his money and soon got married. He went to a mason and told him what he wanted in a house. It got done. Soon, it was time to venture out for himself. He made plans to open his own buisness. He found a store off the main street of stores near the cemetary. He told his wife, she said who you going to sell to, the dead people. Mike walked to the beat of his own drummer. He signed the papers, from 3 dollars to sole business man. Getting people to the garment store was a problem. A radio show came to his help. Mike was smart, he made sure that his I min ad came on 5 min before 6 am. The school closings would begin 6 am. For  30 yrs, it was the same ad. Kids would come into his shop and say the catch phrase, it saves to walk the extra block. Mike was successful. When other people were contrary Mike said it will be done. And he did.

    I life well lived. One day I drove by and I noticed his car was gone for a long time. I stopped by, I said Mike wheres the car? Oh, he said one day I was driving in town and hit a car. I say so what thats what insurance is for. No he said the car was a cop car. Mike was 88 and his family used that incident to pull his license. Sorry Mike. A year later, I didn't. see Mike out in his yard. I stop, Mike what happened? He tripped in the street visiting a neighbor, broke his hip. About 6 months later his wife couldn't take care of him anymore. I visited him in the nursing home, he was not happy. He wanted me to take him home. I said I couldn't. He balled up a fist and caught me in the arm. Boy, for 89 he hit good. Poor Mike, he died 6 mos later.

    I had a dream one night there was Mike in the dark save for an old fashioned lamp post that was lit up, he was holding on to the post. I know the light will guide him onward. Good to know you Mike.

4/12/2020. Death. Camp

    The first week of life, I was baptised a christian. When I got older I went to Sunday school for awhile. It was ok but I didn't go to church. My parents believed in the golden rule, do on to others as you would want them to do to you. That in a nut shell was their belief. Sounded good to me. At the dentist office, they had a childrens bible that I would read before seeing the doc. Later I became agnostic. At 13 we had to watch a movie called Night and Fog. The French went into the death camps in 1945, they had movie projectors. It was in French. They showed everything. I walked out after hour and a half being an athieist. Everyone at 13 should see this movie... mandatory. There wouldn't be any white surpremists walking around today.
    I dated this gal, who got to know my views. One day I say let's go out Sat afternoon. She said she couldn't, she had to find a shirt for her father's birthday. I said I'll go with you, she said no, it's a special shirt. It's a nazi era shirt. I said excuse me, what did you say? I got it right the first time. So thats why she would always direct me to different doors when I came over, front door side door, she was keeping me from bumping into him. Smart girl. That relationship soon ended../

     This story I heard, I hope it to be true. A US soldier was in a death camp 1945. He sees a prisoner that doesn't look like the rest of them. He walks on up to him and says, you look way better than your comrades, why is that? He said when I came here I was like the rest of them, miserable, sad and I wanted to kill the guards. I felt like this for a long time I caught a glimpse of myself one day in a mirror, I did not like what I saw. I was becoming just like the guards. I said to myself No it stops here. I will focus on the good inside me.

4/11/20 20. Monkey. See

    I remember when there was a comercial on tv, that showed a close relationship between father and son. They were doing fun activities together. The father then unrolls a pack of cigarettes from his short sleeve shirt and removes a cigarette out, puts it in his mouth and lights it. The 6 yr old tow head then lifts up the pack of cigs and gives it a quizzical look. Ain't that the truth.


     One bright sunny day, I was in this huge park, enjoying the weather and the hundreds of people milling about. Off to the right of me, stood a heavy steel garbage can. A 7 y r old girl was just finishing her hot dog, she takes the wrappings and tosses them hard upon the ground. They land only 3 ft from the trash can. I rush over and like a windmill I go down with my hand grabbing the refuse and dropping it into the can in one full swoop. I didn't say a word. The mother was10' away and she didn't say anything either. The girl looked stunned. I was still nearby doing what I was doing. A couple minutes later the girl was done with her drink, she walks it over to the trash can and plops it in, looking at me as she did it with a little smile. I just nodded my head in an affirmative. No words spoken throughout the encounter.



    I alIways went to work the same way. I passed over this very small bridge with woods to the left and right. I would notice litter here all the time,  this place was the favorite dumping ground, I said the town should do something about this. Another month went by and it was getting worse. I said the town isn't going to get it done. I'm the one who wants it done, i'm the one to do it. The day came and I was prepared with sturdy plastic bags in hand, I set to work. Spent a little over an hour and left bags to the side of road. I looked at my handiwork, and boy did I f eel good. Mother Nature put back together.

    Two days later, someone took the bags. A year later, I was driving toward bridge and saw a guy and daughter with plastic bags cleaning the same offending area. Boy, did that feel just great.

4/ 9/2020. Wisconsin

    All of my family was bom in one state, except me. Yep ... that state is Wisconsin. I thought it was pretty cool, the badger state. I don't think it's very cool anymore. This weeks events sealed it. The Gov of the state delayed the voting process so it's residents would be protected in this virus era.
The state supreme court over ruled the Gov and the US supreme court said the voting would proceed despite the hardship the citizens would have to endure. The US supreme court issued their decree from the safety of their homes. I never thought I would see the day. I'm done with Wisconsin.

4/ 8/2020. A Kick in the Pants

   Complacency another word for not moving forward. A lot of times its just easier to sit back and chill or stew..
   One day the jobs stopped coming in. I didn, t like that one bit. Got up early one morning and I said to myself you don't have to get up early today, there's no work. I think I'll just go back to bed. No sooner than I said that, the phone rang, it was one of my clients. She needed some work done today. In a flash,  I was out the door. The client said I bet I know why you came so fast, the money. Darn tootin I said. Spirit waited right up to the point I gave up. Then the phone call came. After that the jobs kept coming once again. I got myself in that box because I was a bad advertiser, lazy. Spirit let me know it was there for me, Spirit let me know one day years later I was out of work.  My 8yr old nephew looked at me and said get a job, Now! And I did, it was a bad job for me. Running around all creation delivering letters for not much money using your car and gas and no rumer nation for it. The little money it was, did help.

   After an event my group held. I was talking to some people, we were being gossipy about someone else, I felt something warm on my leg. Put my hand down there and brought it up, it was red( blood), my blood. I got the meaning right away wound the group conciousness wound yourself. That was a good kick in the pants if there ever was one.


   Me and a buddy of mine, where hanging around a city after an event being held there. The event was over. Four hours later some stranger says, ain't it time for you guys to be moving on? I got back into my truck and started long trip back. made it to the foothills, when the first snow flakes hit the windshield. I didn't pay attention back then about the forecast, stupid me. It was a major snow storm barreling in on me. Those strangers words got me moving, it was still early and I made it through the foothills before the snow could get a good grip of the road. The next leg was relatively flat. But that storm was fierce. Had a hard time. The ice stuck to the wipers and the defrost couldn't keep up. It left me with a little clear spot near the vent next to the windshield. I had to scrouch down to see through it. The storm was heading east, where I wanted to go, but I decided to head south to get away from it. I decided25 mph was a good speed on the interstate, lessen the blow if I got rear ended. Could only see 25 ft in front of me. There are these little green rectangles of metal that sit on gray metal stakes off to the side of road. I drove the truck by keeping the same distance from those markers. for nine hrs, I drove like that. In that amount of time no one passed me, nor did I pass anyone. No cops. No18 wheelers. People going north was zero. Had the whole road to myself. For the first time, I was king of the road. I sucessfully out rode the storm, to the point where there was not a flake on the road. I stopped the truck on bare ground got out walked back to the line of snow on pavement. It was like 45 degree angle on road surface. My left foot was on solid ice and my right foot on bare macadam.  Wow. What a ride. On the north side of Highway a thousand feet up, lay on it's side a large van, not a cargo one. He must have been book in, then hit the brakes and on to your side you go.

 

4/ 7/2020. Sitting on a Fence

    Not a pleasant place to be. It's a place where you don't know what to do next. The longer you sit there the wor.se you feel. Stagnation..... ick. I was sitting on that fence for four months. The pros and cons of what to do, what to do next. They're were good things about the relationship and then they' re were the bad. Being on that fence was excruciating. I had to make a choice and soon. I was leaning toward an ending. I pulled the stick that broke the camels back. It had to be done. I wound up throwing myself out of the house. I went to my pops house and told him what happened, he said ok but she goes and you stay. I hit myself on the side of my head. That's right ....what was I thinking? Went back to the house and told her I got it wrong your'e leaving not me. So the following Sunday, I had some peace but I was still mad. Next week I wrote a letter to her, in my head I get don't mail it. I say no, I'm mailing it. Get in my truck and head to post office. I'm about1/4 mile from home , when a bird dives bomb into the front of my truck's grill. No more bird. That was a sign, so I didn't mail the letter. In hindsight I'm glad I didn't mail it. Spirit took two tries to deliever the message , the second registered with me. It was a pivot point for me, painfull but necessary. I believe I got a better life henceforth.

      So if you find yourself on a fence, do make a choice for the betterment of your life, as well. It will be for the good of all involved.